


Somewhere Along The Way

by jvngfs



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 20:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4719767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jvngfs/pseuds/jvngfs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taehyun finds Seungyoon sleeping in a box on his way home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere Along The Way

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2015 S/S Winner Exchange. The prompt was based out of the Japanese manga Tramps Like Us.
> 
> Slight cursing and sexual references.

_"You even know my painful scars._  
We were so exhausted, standing at the tip of the world  
But the sky has opened toward us  
And in front of you right now is me." 

 

Taehyun's summers are made of days spend at the 25th floor of a skyscraper, in a air-con equipped office, working on numbers until his head hurts and his eyes are red, and of sleepless nights alone in his apartment wasted in smoking and playing video games. What happens between his days and nights, it doesn't really matter to Taehyun. His life is filled with habits and similarities. He does the same thing everyday and enjoys the constancy of his lifestyle.

Taehyun doesn't use taxis to go to work or at the end of the day back to his house because he doesn't like taxis' drivers. They always try to start a conversation, always ask him random questions about his life, pressuring him to talk while Taehyun isn't good at talking with strangers - it is both awkward and uncomfortable and he had always liked silence more over useless chats. This is why he goes home by walking. He especially enjoys it in the summer when the sun is setting late and the air is warm for long hours after that. The city and its buildings are beautiful and the fifteen minutes it takes to from his apartment to his work is the only time Taehyun spends outside ; he doesn't like going out that much and prefers books over parties, loneliness over sociability. Taehyun also takes pleasure in following the exact same path to go home every day and he wouldn't like to change it now. If there is one thing Taehyun hates, it is change. He knows every streets by heart and it brings a welcomed regularity to his life. A steadiness he wouldn't be able to live without. However, his detailed knowledge of those streets is what makes him notice that, tonight, something is different.

Taehyun is living in the wealthy part of the city ; both his work and house are situated in a nice area full of fancy shops and restaurants. There aren't any beggars around here. Taehyun never met one in this part of the city before. Sure, he saw them downtown, lying down the streets, always dirty and asking for charity. Sometimes he even gives them some money or a coffee because it is what rich and successful people are supposed to do : give back. Taehyun never really understood the concept and he never cared enough to ask why they were living on the streets anyway but he gives back and knows what a beggar looks like. And bumping into a beggar on his way home isn't something Taehyun is used to.

When he first notices the box, he thinks it is a simple empty thrown-out box that the garbage men will take away tomorrow morning. But, as he looks closely, he realizes there is a leg - a human leg - coming out of it. For a minute he considers if it can be a corpse but rejects the idea because no one can be stupid enough to abandon a corpse in the middle of the streets. Besides, as Taehyun is thinking, the body twitches slightly, signifying that it is indeed alive but asleep and relief washes over him. He is still a bit scared but curious too, about why a man would sleep here, in this area, and in such a small box to begin with. Beggars usually don't wander around here. Or if they do, never for long.

Taehyun should have walk past it, go faster, look away because it is what people usually do when they encounter beggars sleeping on the streets. They are said to be dangerous, often drunk and most likely to try to attack and rob people like Taehyun who are wearing nice suits and expensive shoes. This is what the news always broadcast ; stories about women and men getting assaulted in the streets at night by some drunken tramps. But Taehyun isn't like everyone else and is most of the time oblivious of the danger. So, as if attracted by an invisible force, he approaches him. He wants to see what he looks like. He wants to know what he is doing here and why a road he took for the past four years and always looked the same is now invaded by people like him.

It is a small boy, fast asleep with his hair messy and face crumpled in what seems to be a nightmare. He carries worn-out clothes and when Taehyun bends down to look at him properly, he smells like he didn't get to shower in days. His plump lips are slightly parted, contrasting with how skinny he is, and if he didn't have that overall look of sadness and despair, Taehyun would have find him cute. He wonders for a second how someone can look both so beautiful and broken. He never met anyone like him before ; someone who looks at the same time so innocent and so mature, someone who triggers his protective instincts so strongly. Taehyun is fascinated. He wants to touch him, to make sure he is alright. Without knowing it, he starts pitying him - like he would do to a lost and cold puppy with a broken leg he just found. The boy needs a shower, a meal and has nothing to do on the streets. He is too fragile, too small to be living that way. Taehyun tries to swallow the lump forming in his throat. He isn't supposed to be that sensitive towards someone he doesn't know and is worthless enough to be living that kind of distasteful life. He is probably just a devious freak ; one of those teenagers who ran away from home and started doing drugs and illegal activities and ended up without a job and barely enough to eat. Or maybe Taehyun just watches TV too much. He wouldn't know in any case because he rarely talks to anyone beside his family and his coworkers.

Taehyun only realizes he had been staring for too long and his gaze must have been burdensome when the boy jerks up, eyes opening wide and looking straight at him with a fearful look mixed with worry. He seems even more harmless awake. Too pure and way too young for the life he is living.

"W-who are you?" The boy stutters awkwardly and that is when Taehyun makes his decision. He knows it is a bad one - a stupid one even - but it is the first time something so unusual happens in his life and he feels like he can't just let the boy go. Taehyun doesn't like change but the boy doesn't feel like the kind of unsettled change he hates, he feels like doing a leap in the dark and the excitement of doing something both uncommon and risky makes Taehyun dizzy like he has never been before. He wants to help him even though Taehyun usually doesn't help people.

He reaches for his arm, ignoring his protests and scared objections, and holds him by the sleeve as he drags him back to his apartment. After a while of walking, when the boy probably realizes that Taehyun has no intention to hurt him, he stops resisting. He still has this both shocked and panicked look on his face but starts following diligently, trotting behind him and making little sounds when Taehyun is walking too fast for him when he is too weak for such physical exercise as he hasn't eat properly in days. Taehyun's heart is racing. It is the first time he does something so out of the ordinary, something people would call him crazy for. Taehyun hates being called crazy or weird the most. He always does his best to fit in and fill what is expected from him. But Taehyun doesn't care at this moment. He doesn't dare to speak to the boy and tries not to think about the consequences of bringing a stranger to his place.

Back at his apartment, he hurries the boy to the shower and busies himself with cooking. He concentrates on his task, to avoid thinking about what he is doing, about the idea creeping up in his mind that the boy may be a murderer or a rapist - because why would he be on the streets otherwise? - but then he comes out of the shower with hair wet and wearing Taehyun's pajamas and he looks even younger than he did a few minutes ago. Taehyun's hands are shaking and his heart beats fast and he doesn't know what he is doing but he is convinced it is the most exciting thing he ever did in his whole existence. His mother would be pissed off if she knew. Considering her son's personality, she always warns him against other people, constantly repeating him to be careful with the people he welcomes in his life because he doesn't have the same way of thinking as others. But Taehyun isn't regretting anything as of now. For the first time in his life, he finds a slice of interest in someone else than himself and he can't just let this frail creature die of hunger or cold outside.

"Eat," Taehyun orders, pushing a plate of food in front of him that the boy engulfs in his mouth in a record time, stuffing his cheeks and letting the sauce drip down his chin. Taehyun can't tear his eyes off him. "You can sleep here tonight." He adds in case the boy was thinking about leaving right after. He wants him to stay - just for tonight -, wants to be sure he regains enough strength before going back to his box. The truth is, he wants to be able to look at him some more.

Taehyun puts him to sleep soon after that because the boy is too tired to even speak, dozing off on his seat, shivering in the too large clothes for him - even though Taehyun is really skinny himself. He lets him sleep on the couch, covering him with the blankets his mother offered him for Christmas. He looks so delicate like this, almost child-like and Taehyun wants to protect him even more. It is when it all starts ; his attraction to the boy. It starts that night he spends watching him sleep, staring at his agitated pupils under his eyelids and listening to his regular breathing. Taehyun's fascination keeps growing as he perceives him as someone special, someone he wants to keep close to him, someone he wants to make his. He never felt that way before. Taehyun isn't really sure how it happens ; if it is because of the boy's stunning looks or because he needs someone in his life and the boy happens to be here at the right time, but now that he is here, the boy acts like a lure to him. Taehyun just can't go back.

The next morning, the boy is still there, laying on the couch, and he addresses a shy smile to Taehyun when he offers him breakfast. He knows he should send him back now, tell him to leave because he can't keep him any longer, that he was stupid enough to bring him back yesterday and he has no room in his life for someone like him. But he doesn't. The boy must have sensed Taehyun's conflict because he speaks distinctively for the first time, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Please allow me to stay a little longer." His voice is deeper than he imagined it and he speaks with much more firmness than his appearance lets him think capable of. Taehyun shifts on his seat, trying to ignore the shiver running down his spine.

"I'm sorry. I can't. Don't you have somewhere else to go? Home? Family? Friends?" Taehyun asks even if he knows the boy doesn't have any. Otherwise he wouldn't be sleeping outside. The boy shakes his head, tearing up and biting his lips. Taehyun sighs, trying to find a solution, something to say, the right way to tell him that he is willing to take care of him but he can't.

"Please," he repeats and this time it is more of a plea. Taehyun should have been firmer, he should have, but as he watches him eat the eggs and bread he cooked for him, he starts considering it. What if he keeps him? He can keep him company. He can be useful, he can find him something to do. It isn't right to let someone like him go back to be a beggar.

Taehyun wants to ask more about him, wants to know who really is the person who slept on his sofa last night but at the same time, he isn't sure he really wants to learn too much. He likes the fact that the boy remains anonymous. He likes to think that he saved him, decided to keep him close, and that he can, in a way, raise him. It is weird, Taehyun realizes, probably what a weirdo with possessiveness problems would do but he can't resolve himself to let him go, not now that he is in his house and looks like he fits there perfectly. Taehyun won't be able to tell any of his acquaintances - or maybe he would lie that he got a roommate - but again he likes the idea of keeping the boy hidden, of being the only one aware of his existence. He doesn't have anyone to tell this kind of thing anyway ; no one ever comes to his apartment. Since Taehyun got his first job, he always lived alone in this small but neat apartment and beside his parents no one knows where he lives. But it is a part of Taehyun's personality to always worry about people finding out about who he really is and being scared of being look down on for being strange. He decides that he should just try it out and will send him away when he will grow tired of him. It is easy like this.

When Taehyun goes home later that day, exhausted and having almost forgot about the boy staying at his house, he is welcomed with two slim arms circling him a tight hug as soon as he passes the entrance and a cheerful voice asking if he had a good day. It takes him a few seconds to register that it is actually the boy he took in yesterday who is pressed against him and another few seconds to push him away, startled, shocked to see that he is being so friendly when they just met yesterday. But when he looks at his face, all he can see is sincere joy and innocence and it makes his heart beats faster in his chest again. Taehyun never had anyone that happy to see him or so willing to touch him before. Not even his parents.

"What are you doing-" he squeaks anyway. He isn't used nor really likes physical proximity. "Don't touch me ever again," he warns and the boy's brows furrows in disappointment.

"Why? I missed you." He replies shamelessly, jumping around him in his pajamas. "I spent the whole day reading your books and watching TV. It was boring." He complains, and when Taehyun wants to retort that he should be satisfied with just that, he can't stop the blush creeping up his face at the idea of the boy waiting for him the whole day and just keeps quiet instead. 

-

"I should name you," Taehyun announces, two days later, and the boy's eyes twinkle at that, nodding his head enthusiastically. "What should I name you?" He needs a good name. A one easy to pronounce and to call but also a name that would fit him perfectly. He could have asked for his real name but Taehyun isn't really interested. He has been watching the boy for a few days and he enjoys how he does everything to please him too much. Taehyun doesn't know how to deal with the possessiveness he is feeling and all he knows is that this cute boy with dark hair, a bright personality and a chin which wrinkle when he smiles is now his and he will do anything to keep him.

He thinks about what name can suit him the whole day at his office. So much that his boss complains that he is distracted but Taehyun just shrugs because he can't bring himself to focus on his work today and on making his company earn money he will never see the color of. Finding a name is more important. He can't just refer to him as "the boy" anymore, not now that he is sure he wants him to stay close to him.

Suddenly Taehyun becomes conscious that he has found something more important, more meaningful than his work or his repetitive life, something that obsess him all day long, something he can't stop thinking about even if he closes his eyes.

"Mung," he decides that night because the boy reminds him of a small puppy. Especially when he first met him - memories of him being all frightened and shivering still vivid in his mind - and now also as he turned out to be both playful and in need of constant attention.

"Mung," the boy repeats, his eyes fluttering close as he is choosing whether it is good enough or not, and finally, he scoots closer to Taehyun on the couch, dropping his head on his shoulder and says ; "Mung. I like it." Taehyun smiles.

-

Taehyun has everything for him - as people tell him, as his mother brags to her friends - he has a well-paid job in a prestigious finance company, a nice apartment and he is handsome and well-known enough among his pairs to take pride in it. He has everything to be happy. Expect that he isn't. Not really. It is not like he would trade his life for another - he cherishes his way of living - but he doesn't fill the society's requirements. He isn't interested in the same things as the other people his age nor he has any skills when it comes to social relationships. People always say he is lonely but he isn't ; he just likes to be on his own because he never met anyone who can fully understand him. He stopped looking for someone like this a while ago, as he concluded that there weren't any. He came to accept the fact that he is different and that people don't find anything interesting in the real Nam Taehyun ; they like the business man Nam Taehyun or the successful Nam Taehyun but loose interest when they catch a glimpse of the weird and average Nam Taehyun.

Taehyun never thought he would one day like going home so much. When he used to walk slowly down the streets to his house, he is now hurrying up, knowing that Mung is going to be there when he opens the door, all loving and happy to see him, following him around excitedly, asking about his day, craving for a stroke on his head or a pat on his shoulder. And Taehyun loves it. A strange warmth spreads in his stomach during those times and a feeling that makes his hands tremble and his heart race settles inside him.

It isn't just about Mung being easy going and full of affection. It is also the first time that Taehyun can be himself around another human being. He doesn't have to pretend, he doesn't have to hide anything. He can tell Mung about his weird tastes, about his lack of friends and Mung doesn't judge him. He accepts everything. Maybe because he is grateful to Taehyun for offering him a place to stay, but also, and mostly, Mung doesn't seem to really care about Taehyun being different, being a little uncommon. Mung never rejects him when Taehyun is used to people at his work or even his family always being grossed out or scared when they discover his true personality. Taehyun learned to hide well since then. But now that he has Mung living with him - a boy he just met, a boy who knows nothing about the successful Nam Taehyun - he doesn't have to hide anything from him ; from his strange sense of humor to his loathing for social relationships. He even tells him about his expectations ; about what a good wife would be for him, about what a good coworker should do. Taehyun never told this to anyone because usually people would say he is being awkward and judgmental, scolding him that he should accept people for what they are and not trying to reject the ones who don't fit his ideals. Mung doesn't do that. Mung listens and reassures him and loves him in a way nobody has done before.

-

Before Taehyun can decide if he really wants to keep him, Mung is still there after two weeks, after three weeks and after a month. Taehyun is getting used to him. He grows to like him. He wants to please him, to make him comfortable. So, the first time they go out together is when Taehyun is tired to see Mung still dressed up in the same old clothes and staying locked up in his apartment all day long. He asks if he isn't bored but Mung shakes his head vigorously, assuring him that he likes it, that he doesn't feel the need to go outside. Taehyun suspects that he may be lying.

"What about we go out together?" He finally finds the courage to ask after a while. Mung hesitates for a bit, like he is somehow scared of going back on the streets. "We could go eat something. And buy you some clothes." Taehyun offers with a smile and at that Mung's face lightens. Taehyun likes it when he can bring such emotions on Mung's face, when he can manage to make him smile or laugh. Taehyun used to never make anyone smile before Mung.

Mung's black hair are so messy that it looks like he didn't cut it for years. His face is still so juvenile, hidden behind his long locks, that if it isn't for how serious he looks sometimes when Taehyun pretends not to pay attention, he wouldn't believe he is already an adult. But he is. They are the same age, he learned a few days ago and had accused Mung of lying before he told him his exact birth date and they spent the nights arguing about the best TV shows they were watching when they were kids. After that, Taehyun notices how old he really is when Mung slowly recovers from his poor condition ; his body - which was all skinny and weak - is now made of strong shoulders and slight muscles. His dark circles slowly disappeared to be replaced with soft fair skin and his lips aren't chapped anymore but red and glossy. He looks like a grow up man and Taehyun likes it even more. The more he watches Mung, the less he finds things to dislike about him. It is scary in a way, as Taehyun isn't familiar with creating such a strong bond with anyone but exciting nonetheless to know that he finally has someone by his side.

Taehyun can tell that it must be frustrating for Mung to stay inside the whole day. Especially since the weather is so nice and warm outside. He caught Mung staring out the window with huge eyes a few days earlier, admiring the blue sky and the city's lights blending together.

Taehyun is uncomfortable with Mung holding his hands as they walk outside but he doesn't dare to say it because Mung's eyes are shinning with something new ; something he never noticed before in the darkness of his apartment, and Taehyun wants to see this look forever.

He buys him clothes. He never bought anything for anyone before - other than flowers or perfume for his mother on birthdays - but he buys clothes for Mung and then a meal in a nice restaurant. Not a too expensive one to make him awkward but not too cheap either. He especially chooses a restaurant he never went before so he won't have to explain who is the person eating with him. Taehyun can be pretty obsessive sometimes when it comes to hide from the people who may recognize him. Mung doesn't notice it though or pretends not to. Instead, he smiles the whole time, complimenting Taehyun for everything he is doing, making him blush more times than he would admit it.

"Can I ask you something?" Taehyun tries once they are done with eating and are enjoying the last sunlights of the day in a park, lying on the grass, not too far from the apartment.

"Yeah, sure. What is it?" Mung is watching a couple struggling to get on a bicycle a few meters away, propped on his elbows. He looks beautiful, with his freshly cut silk-like hair and the new sweatshirt they just bought. Taehyun wants to touch his face, to try out the softness of his skin but instead, he has something he wants to know, something he should have asked weeks ago.

"How did you-," he ponders on how he should actually say it, "How did you end up on the streets? Don't you have-," A family, he wants to finish but Mung has teared his eyes away from the couple and is looking straight at him. Taehyun blushes, suddenly embarrassed to ask such a personal and harsh question. Maybe he should just keep worship him and be satisfied with all the mysteries about his past life.

"I do." Mung cuts him off, suddenly serious, his back stiffening and his eyes unfocused as if he is remembering something. "We just don't get on that well. But they aren't the reason why I was sleeping in a box." He smiles softly, like it is no big deal, like it is good memory. "I never got to thank you properly by the way." He adds, his smile widening and his eyes crooking in a cute way. "Thank you, Taehyun." He chuckles and Taehyun's face feels hot.

Mung seems to hesitate for a few seconds, maybe on whether he should tell Taehyun what really happened to him, or maybe if he should tell him anything in the first place. Taehyun waits patiently, pretending to close his eyes to enjoy the sun's warmth on his skin and thinking that no matter what Mung is going to tell him, it isn't going to change anything on how he sees him. He will always be Mung and he will still like him.

"It was all bad luck," Mung sighs after a while, "I met the wrong persons." He shifts beside him and Taehyun is still not looking at him because he doesn't want him to stop talking. "I was going to college around one year ago and I met this guy- he said he would introduce him to some good producers and I believed him. I shouldn't have though." He lets out a bitter laugh.

"Producers?" Taehyun asks, his eyebrows raising, questions piling up in his head.

"Yeah, I wanted to be a musician. I was playing guitar and singing and- I thought I had a chance. But those guys just scammed me and I ended up loosing everything ; my college fees, my apartment and I started going around, trying out for small jobs to eat, sleeping wherever I could, until you found me that night sleeping in a box." He laughs like he just made a joke but Taehyun knows he didn't. He has a lump in his throat he can't swallow and it is hard to look at him right now. He is way too young to live something like this, to wander on his own on the streets for so long, to give up on his dream so early. Taehyun never had any dreams and had been lucky enough to have a path decided for him since he was born. He is fascinated in a way, by Mung, and by how cheerful he always is when he had been living probably worse things Taehyun can even imagine.

"Do you still sing and play guitar?" Taehyun inquires when he is confident enough in speaking and Mung's hand has found his again.

"No, not really. I sell my guitar a long time ago and since then I haven't really tried singing." He explains and Taehyun has heard him talk for long enough to distinguish the hint of sadness and regret in his tone. He hates it.

Taehyun buys him a guitar three days later. He shouldn't have ; it is expensive and he knows nothing about guitars and he isn't even sure Mung is going to like it but when he goes home with the big case on his back, Mung's eyes widen in shock, tears threatening to spill and he kisses his face more times than he ever has until now, mumbling "thank you"s against his hair until Taehyun pushes him away.

Mung starts playing again. At first it is just a few minutes, pulling at a few cords and giving up because his fingers are too rigid and he forgot how to play well, but Taehyun doesn't say anything, he waits patiently, and eventually, one day, as he is coming back from work, Mung is waiting for him with the guitar in his arms and makes him sit on the couch to listen to the song he has been practicing. Taehyun doesn't know much about music, nor about guitar, but he likes Mung's song, he likes watching him concentrate on his fingers, eyebrows furrowed and eyes partially closed. "It's great," he tells him and Mung's face breaks into a big smile. It seems as if something has lightened in Mung, as if he is slowly becoming the person he used to be, the person he thought he lost a long time ago. Taehyun is greatly proud to be the one helping him with that.

It takes him a little longer to start singing again though and Taehyun is pretty sure he is practicing when he is at work because some nights Mung's voice is hoarse and cracks and he refuses to tell him why. Taehyun wants to hear him sing. He has imagined it, how it may sound but he wants to hear it for real. Mung's speaking voice is good, a bit deep but soft but his singing's voice is definitely different ; it is all edges and sweet sounds and Taehyun never heard something so beautiful and breathtaking before. Mung blushes at the compliment and tells Taehyun not to lie. He isn't.

He starts requesting Mung to sing something for him every night and of course, he agrees, because Mung never refuses anything Taehyun demands. He always accepts everything as if he sees something special in Taehyun - something even he didn't know about. Sometimes he sings songs Taehyun knows, he hears them on the radio or on TV, sometimes it is songs from unknown artists, and sometimes - it is the songs Taehyun likes the best - it is the songs Mung writes himself. Some nights he plays until his fingers are bruised and Taehyun falls asleep on the couch. During those nights Taehyun thinks he is living the best time of his life ; the most thrilling and intoxicating moments he ever lived.

Just like this, they build a small world of their own, a bubble Taehyun can lock himself in every day and wishes he won't ever have to leave anymore.

-

"She's absolutely beautiful," his mother assures him over the phone. Taehyun used to find amusing how his mother was continuously introducing him to potential wives. He isn't skilled enough to find one on his own anyway and it was easier that way. He meets successful women like him who fill all the requirements to be perfect for him ; power, beauty, smartness and wealth every two months. Taehyun dated some of them but often broke up a few days later when he found out about their defaults or when they found out how creepy and boring he is.

He always thought that all he needed was to find a good wife, someone he could date and marry and have kids with. It is the last step he has to take, his mother lectures him on the phone. He already completed his studies, has a good job, a great apartment and a few coworkers he is going to drink with every once in a month. He just needs a nice woman left. He had always imagined it wouldn't matter if he wasn't honest with her, if he didn't tell her about how he is spending his evenings playing videos games or enjoys staying alone at his apartment for days. He used to think he could always pretend. He is not so sure anymore and he doesn't find it as exhilarating to meet them as he used to anymore.

It is different now that he has Mung. Because he has someone he doesn't have to hide anything from. He has someone who suits him perfectly. Mung knows practically everything about him and doesn't reject him. He sits quietly next to him when he plays video games or prepares dinner, doesn't complain when he wants to spend the evening watching animes or smokes ten cigarettes in a row and he even tries to get him to get out when he spends too many hours doing nothing. He can be honest with Mung, he doesn't have to act like the successful business man he is supposed to be. He can be Nam Taehyun. Not the Nam Taehyun people thinks he is, the real and bare Nam Taehyun that only Mung gets to see.

So when his mother sets up a meeting with a nice woman, Taehyun - for the first time - is reluctant to go. He hasn't thought about women for a long time, he somehow stopped hoping he could meet a nice one anymore. He has Mung back at home and since he is sure no woman won't ever accept the relationship he has with him, he stopped caring about women. Maybe too easily.

"Sure, I'll be going." He promises his mother anyway. He will just have to lie that he didn't like her. Just this one time.

-

The girl is pretty and well-mannered. She is good at talking and has cute little dimples. Those are the things Taehyun usually notices because it is what he likes to see in a woman. She is charming, he can't deny that but she isn't Mung. This is when Taehyun realizes his relationship with Mung isn't really healthy because he shouldn't be comparing a potential wife to a boy who has been living at his place for the past few months. It shouldn't be like that and yet it is. Because Mung has much more to show than this woman. He is funnier and cuter and understands Taehyun in a way he never thought anyone would understand him.

Taehyun becomes aware of how far they went at this moment. He shouldn't have accepted Mung in his life, he shouldn't have kept him. He had been stupid and careless. He didn't give much thoughts about it at first ; Mung was just staying there and it was nice having someone waiting for him every day but now there are Mung's hugs and how loving and understanding he is. There are the nights they spend sharing thoughts together, that day during the first weeks when he thought Mung was leaving and he stormed out the apartment to realize Mung just went out to grab dinner from his favorite place for him. There are the meals they share, the space Mung started to occupied and his belongings becoming a part of the house. There is Mung becoming a part of Taehyun's life and he isn't sure he can let him go even if he wants to anymore.

It is too late and as Taehyun is smiling gently at the girl, picking his food carefully in his plate, all he can see is Mung's face and the dark expression he had on - a mix of possessiveness and something else - when he told him he was meeting a woman a few hours ago.

Taehyun wants to leave. He isn't comfortable here. He isn't comfortable with her. He wants to go back home and watch TV with Mung or maybe go out to eat some Japanese food together - Mung likes Japanese food the best. Anything but eating there with a girl he doesn't care about.

-

Mung never complains and never speaks that much about himself but now that Taehyun is paying attention, he has the urge to know more about him, to know who he is, what he is doing there, why he stayed with him for so long. Taehyun wants to be reassure that what they are living is real, that he can trust him.

He has always refrained himself from asking too much about him, thinking that asking would mean getting to know him, considering him as a person and eventually getting attached. Now that he is conscious of being is already attached, he feels ashamed for knowing so little about him, about his feelings, about his life, not even his name when Mung knows everything about him. He hates himself even more for hurting him and making him feel not so important by going on arranged dates with women when Mung is everything Taehyun ever thinks about since they met.

"What's your name?" Taehyun asks that night - the girl he met earlier already forgotten - as Mung is slowly stroking his back with his warm hand. "Your real name, I mean." Taehyun is still not sure he wants to know. He thought about it for a while, whether he wanted to learn about Mung's past or not. He is scared that if he knows, Mung will stop being Mung and that he can't accept it, but after the encounter with the woman and Mung's sulkiness when he went home, he needs Mung to be a real person, not the pet-like nameless boy who lives at his house anymore.

Mung never tries to talk about it either and maybe it means he likes the idea of forgetting who he was before. Maybe he likes this new start with Taehyun more than his previous life.

However, he can't help but ask. He needs to know. It has been a long time since they met. At first, Taehyun thought Mung wouldn't change his daily routine and his life much, but now he is even turning down women and his mother and his well prepared future for him. He needs to know. He needs to know how far they are ready to take this relationship. It is maybe stupid to ask as they are already sprawled on his bed, seeking comfort in the innocent touches they share and are so comfortable with it that there is no way they are just strangers anymore. But Taehyun still asks.

Mung seems to hesitate for a bit, shifting on the bed beside him, breathing through his nose. "Are you sure you want to know?" His voice is tentative, uncertain, trying to decide if he should refuse or not. Taehyun turns around to face him, barely distinguishing his features in the dark and whispers a firm "yes". Yes, he wants to know. Names are important. Names define a person, names tell the past and the future of a person.

"K-Kang Seungyoon." Mung answers quietly, so quietly that if Taehyun didn't see his lips moving, he would have thought he didn't speak at all. But he saw and he heard.

"Kang Seungyoon," he repeats, the name rolling on his tongue, creating a weird feeling down his stomach. "Seungyoon," he breathes out once again. It sounds good. It suits him. He isn't sure he will be able to call him that though, because he doesn't know about Kang Seungyoon and he doesn't want to loose Mung but Seungyoon sounds much better than Mung, Taehyun is sure of it.

Knowing Mung's real name do change something because he isn't just Mung anymore, he is Kang Seungyoon and he is a real human-being leaving with him. A person he cares about.

The meeting with the girl modifies something in their relationship, Taehyun can sense it. He doesn't know if it is the rise of jealousy or the acknowledgement that they should be exclusive to each other but something changes. They aren't together nor even friends officially but Taehyun already hates the idea of Mung being replaced by someone else or even worse, Mung finding someone else than him to give his affection to, to be comfortable with. So Taehyun promises him that night that he will not go meet with anyone else, that Mung is everything he needs anyway. He kisses his cheek as to seal the promise and he realizes it is the first time he is the one engaging any physical proximity. Mung's smile is back on his lips.

After that, they live in some kind of euphoria ; waking up next to each other, eating together, going out to enjoy the summer days in the evenings - sometimes just walking on the streets, sometimes going out to drink. On week-end, they stay at home when they feel tired, Mung practicing all day long and Taehyun listening, looking at him until his eyes hurt or when Mung feels like it, they go out. They even go as far as the beach once. Taehyun never went before and only agrees because Mung ask for it. He says he went there a lot before because the sea is inspiring. Taehyun comes back with a sunburn on his nose and on his shoulders and Mung laughing that it is because he is too white. It is one of their best memories nonetheless, Taehyun decides. He never imagined that playing in the water or admiring the striking contrast between the gold sand and the clear blue sea could give him such a feeling of accomplishment. Or maybe it is looking at Mung playing guitar and smiling at him, feet buried in the sand that creates this overall feeling of completeness in him. Everything seems so perfect that Taehyun feels like living in a daze. Mung holds his hand all the time, kiss his cheeks a lot, and they laugh. They laugh a lot. More than Taehyun ever laughed in his life. Because Mung is funny and because just being together is enough to find something to laugh about. Mung is the most beautiful when he laughs, features transforming to reveal his dazzling smile for a few seconds before his hand goes to cover his face.

-

It doesn't last long though, surprising Taehyun who is too naive to believe that such things can last forever. He should have sensed something was wrong. He should have because beside his undying bliss due to being with Mung, lots of things are going wrong lately, even though he chooses to ignore them ; his mother harassing him asking why he changed his mind suddenly and lost interest in finding a good wife, his boss complaining that he is distracted at work, even his neighbor who wants to him to fix the hallway's light is being annoying. The only good thing is Mung, as usual. He is always the same and always happy to see him and Taehyun is glad for that. Taehyun's life stability is now embodied in Mung.

Taehyun is starting to feel the impact of his relationship with Mung on his life when he realizes he isn't so good anymore at hiding his emotions and thoughts. People surrounding him slowly discover how strange and how much of an asocial freak he is, but what used to be his biggest fear - people starting to judge him after finding out about him - he doesn't care anymore. As long as Mung isn't the one judging him. 

-

When Taehyun enters the building of his apartment that day, he is still careless, enjoying the now usual feeling of both excitement and longing at the idea of reuniting with Mung in a few minutes. He shouldn't have because when he opens the door of his apartment, cheerfully, already forgetting about his mother, about his work and wondering what they are going to do tonight - maybe they can go to the movies - he isn't welcomed by Mung's too tight hug nor his wet kisses on his cheek. He is met with Mung seated stiffly on the couch, tears pearling up his eyes, and in front of him, his own mother, angered and shocked.

"Who is he, Taehyun?" She asks, teeth clenched and face cold. "What is he doing here? Are you living together? What is this?" She stands up from the couch, her voice raising and Taehyun remains frozen, eyes fixed on Mung who is searching in him something that will tell him everything will be alright. Taehyun can't give him that right now.

He tries to appease her, tries to find the right words to explain why he is living with a man and that Mung isn't a dangerous person nor someone who will take advantage of him, but she doesn't listen, she yells and accuses him of being irresponsible and that it isn't what a respectable person should do. She calls Mung on ruining Taehyun's life and when she finally leaves, door banging and telling Taehyun to get rid of him as soon as possible, Taehyun stays stunned and bewildered, frozen in the middle of his living room, barely hearing Mung's softs cries behind him.

-

"I'm sorry." Taehyun whispers later. It is almost midnight but Mung isn't sleeping - he can tell by the way he keeps squirming beside him, breathing uneven, body tensed. Taehyun should have said it earlier, try to reassure him, tell him not to worry, that he doesn't care about his mother's opinion. But he does. And Mung knows it. Taehyun has always been scared of showing who he is and having a stranger ruining everything doesn't seem like him. Still. Mung isn't a stranger anymore. Mung isn't ruining his life. Mung is the one who gives sense to Taehyun's life.

"It's okay. Forget it." Mung grunts after a while, shifting even farther away from him if it is possible. Taehyun hates it. Mung can't do that. Mung is supposed to like hugging him. He is supposed to crave for his affection. It isn't the other way around. But it has became this way now ; Taehyun unable to live without Mung and hating himself for putting him through all this.

"No, I mean it. I'm sorry. My mother-," he sighs, "Just forget about her. I don't care about what she thinks." Taehyun tries to sound firm, convinced but Mung doesn't answer, even when he draws him closer, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"You care, Taehyun. I know. If you want me to leave-" A silence. Mung turns to look at him. "Just tell me. I will."

"No!" Taehyun exclaims louder than he wants to, his fist clenching around Mung's shirt. "Don't leave." He repeats calmer but with a hint of desperation he never had before. "Don't," he repeats again, almost pleading this time.

Mung stays silent for long minutes, like he is considering the situation, like he is thinking about their relationship - about how weird it is and how two people aren't supposed to live like that. But then again, Taehyun has never been good at following the expected relationship rules and he knows Mung isn't good either. They are two curious, a bit broken inside, human-beings who ended up together by luck but Taehyun is certain that they are a perfect match for each other. He won't let anyone damage the little, still unsteady, world they created. It is too precious, too valuable to give it up.

"Taehyun-," Mung voice changes just a bit. Taehyun wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't spend months with him already, but he has, and it is tinted of a sadness and seriousness he never heard before. It is scary. Both scary and distressing. "Don't misunderstand me. I like it- what we have, I like it. I like staying with you. But what your mother said-," Taehyun can see him close his eyes in the dark, "If people start to hear about this- If your friends, your family get to know about this, they won't like it. They'll force you to push me out and I don't want that. I don't want to endure that." Mung's voice is strangely calm while a storm is agitating Taehyun.

"I won't let that happen. I promise. You have to trust me. You can't leave. Not now. Not after all this time." Taehyun is desperate. He isn't even embarrassed of how needy he sounds and how he moves closer to Mung, his hold tightening around his body, legs draping over his because he can't let Mung leave. He can't. Mung pushes him away slightly but he lacks strength and Taehyun just won't let go. For the first time, Mung's body is cold and doesn't melt against his like it usually does, instead it stays rigid and Mung emits a sigh out of tiredness or surrender against his chest, Taehyun isn't sure which but he wants none of them.

"Taehyun," Mung says, trying to calm him down, "Let's be rational. Let's end this before it's too late, okay?" He wipes the tears Taehyun didn't know came out with his palm and Taehyun wishes they weren't in the dark so he could see Mung's face properly and detect a sign that would assure him that he doesn't really mean what he is saying.

"I'm the one who can decide of that. I'm the one who accepted you here. I decide when you leave." Taehyun retorts, heart racing in his chest, palms sweaty. Mung shakes his head.

"I don't know, Taehyun. I don't know. I don't-" Another sigh and it is too much for Taehyun. He rolls forward, quickly, too quickly, and nails digging into Mung's shoulders, he kisses him for the first time. Mung makes a surprised sound at the back of his throat but doesn't shove him away. And like this Mung stops talking, like this Mung stops mentioning leaving. 

Taehyun refrains himself from calling Seungyoon Mung after that, not because Mung doesn't suit him anymore but because he wants to like the real Seungyoon. Mung is someone he made up, someone he created, someone he put his ideals and aspirations in and Seungyoon had been fine with whatever he wanted him to do. Taehyun loves that about Seungyoon, that he is always so willing, so willing to stay close to him, so willing to please him. But now Mung doesn't really matter anymore, nor he really exists - if he has ever -, not now that he has Seungyoon, the real Seungyoon. Not the copycat he gave life to so he could fell better about himself. He starts by refusing to refer to him as "Mung" in his head and ends up calling him Seungyoon in everyday life too. Seungyoon doesn't protest nor comment but he never asks to be called Mung again. 

They kiss a lot after that because once they started, Taehyun can't stop ; he yearns for Seungyoon's lips too much to grow tired of it. Seungyoon's kisses aren't even gentle, they are always fervent and demanding and he pushes his lips too hard against his skin to be completely sweet but there is some kind of absolute and strong desire in it that makes it just perfect for Taehyun. They kiss all the time ; from Seungyoon's innocent kisses on his cheeks or against his hair when he goes home to the long and deep ones with hands tangled in hair and heavy breathing before sleeping. Even though they are still in an undefined relationship which could be summarize by the story of two lonely people lucky enough to find their other halves, Taehyun loves every part of it. It is still made of shy looks at each other and uncertain brushes of fingertips against skin, but it is something, something more intense than the most thrilling experience one can live.

-

The news spread fast within Taehyun's acquaintances that he is living with a man he found on the streets. His mother is probably hoping the shame will force him to send Seungyoon away but it doesn't, instead Taehyun becomes more confident in keeping Seungyoon close to him, as he is the only one he can trust, the only one he ever allowed himself to open to. He takes the remarks and looks with pride and dignity at his work and never tells Seungyoon about the angered calls from his mother or the mocking voices at his office. He can take it just fine as long as he knows Seungyoon is waiting for him at home.

Until that day when his boss requests an appointment. Taehyun should have seen it coming. He should have think more, realize that such rumors wouldn't do good to his reputation, that it would make his boss worry.

"What are all those rumors about, Taehyun?" He precisely asks, sitting behind his desk and giving him the serious face usually reserved for formal meetings. "Is it true?"

Taehyun looks out the window to the shinny skyscrapers, knowing that Seungyoon is in one of them and he misses him terribly. Taehyun wants to tell his boss that it is none of his business what he is doing outside of the office but he is too aware that a bad reputation can cause customers to run away. "Yes," he answers, lowering his head, cursing his mother for putting her own son in such a situation. Behind his eyelids, he sees Seungyoon playing guitar in his apartment and for a second, he can breath better.

If his boss is surprised, he doesn't show it. Instead he advises him to take care of the problem as soon as possible so it won't cause any damages to his position or to the company, reminding how important the workers' profiles are when it comes to conclude important deals. Taehyun bows and thanks him.

He can't believe it affects him that much but it does. His boss starts to threaten to fire him if the rumors don't die down soon and his mother doesn't stop calling or dropping by at inconvenient times to fight with him and to try to convince Seungyoon to leave. Taehyun always tells him not to worry, not to care but he can feel the guilt slowly filling up Seungyoon as he starts to see himself as a burden to him. Taehyun wants to reassure him, to tell him he isn't but it comes to a point where even his kisses doesn't ease his worries down. Taehyun doesn't want to see Seungyoon drift away from him. He won't be able to take it if it happens.

-

Work has been particularly harsh that day and Taehyun is practically running down the streets to go meet Seungyoon. He is sweating and his bag is heavy but he doesn't want to slow down ; he just wants to go home and find refuge between Seungyoon's arms. He misses him all the time. It is the only place where he can feel safe, where he can feel a tiny bit more alive than when he is confined in his too big office, trying to make a ridiculously huge amount of money each day. More and more money because money brings success and recognition and it is what define a man's value nowadays. Taehyun doesn't find any joy in accumulating money nor he thinks Seungyoon is less valuable for being penniless or the antagonism of successful. A few months ago he wouldn't have said that but now he learned how to look at people properly, he learned to see what is hidden behind the ugliness and the masks.

But Seungyoon isn't there when he arrives.

His clothes and his belongings are still there but his guitar is gone with him. Taehyun looks around, unsettled and panicked, mouth dry and heart thumping, but he isn't anywhere to be found. He asks the neighbors if they saw him leaving but they didn't and bother him again with the light that needs to be changed in the hallway. Taehyun tells them to fuck off and hurries on the streets. He tries to think about where Seungyoon could have gone. The city is huge and Taehyun doesn't know it well. All he knows is the never ending streets near his work packed with cars in the morning and crowded with people in the evenings. He doesn't know about the agitated districts, full of shops blasting loud music and young people wandering around. He doesn't know about the city Seungyoon is familiar with ; the bars which sell cheapest beers and the animated streets where you can play guitar freely for the passers-by. The city is a scary hive of activity for Taehyun while it is a comforting maze he knows by heart for Seungyoon.

Taehyun must look like a crazy man, still wearing his formal pants and his blue shirt soaked in sweat as he is traveling up and down the city in search of Seungyoon. It is stupid of him, there is no way he is going to find him like this. The city is too big and Taehyun never walked around before so he almost gets lost. He goes to their favorite stops, the park, the ice cream shop, the theater, but Seungyoon is nowhere to be seen. The sun will be setting soon and panic makes it hard to breath for Taehyun as he isn't sure he will be able to survive a night without him. He can go through the days because he knows he has a shelter, a home to go back to, but if it is gone- Taehyun tries not to think about it.

Maybe Seungyoon hates seeing him struggling with the people's view on their relationship but Taehyun hates the idea of being alone again more. He hates being the cause of Seungyoon's leave too, he hates thinking that he is responsible for letting the guiltiness settle inside him. They weren't supposed to be, people say, but Taehyun is pretty sure it is for him to choose that. They may be different in appearances and in lots of things but Taehyun loves every ones of their differences, he loves every parts of Seungyoon. He can relate to Seungyoon anyway. He loves to discover a bit more about him each time they talk, each moment they spend together.

His mother won't accept that he is with a homeless man, with someone who has nothing to offer, nothing attractive to display beside himself but Taehyun can see how flawless and ravishing Seungyoon really is and he won't ever consent to let go of him. He wants to tell those people to hang on because one day he will show them how great Seungyoon is and both of them, still unexperienced and young, they will manage to make it through.

-

He finds him fours hours later as he is going back to his apartment, exhausted, his feet hurting and the terrible thought that he might never see him again creeping up his head. But he is there, waiting in front of the building, leaning against the wall, with his guitar next to him, wearing the clothes he bought him months ago now.

"Where were you?" Taehyun asks, trying to suppress a sob a relief. Seungyoon looks at him with big eyes and a bit of shyness and he can't be mad at him for wanting to escape the unsatisfying person he is.

"I went to see some friends. I-I needed to think a bit." He looks like he is regretting it and Taehyun just wants to tell him to forget, that he is glad enough he came back.

It hurts Taehyun to think that Seungyoon has other people to go to when he, has no one else. He doesn't say it though ; instead he hugs Seungyoon close and lets himself cry until he is hiccuping against his shoulder. Strangely, it feels good and the pressure curling up in his muscles is slowly leaving.

"I'm sorry," Seungyoon says, patting his back and Taehyun can feel the wetness of his tears in his neck.

For the first time since they met, Taehyun hopes that their relationship can be different. If they had met under different circumstances, that they weren't being forced to part when none of them want to, it would have been easier, happier but Seungyoon says it will make their bond stronger and Taehyun believes him.

-

"Who were the friends you met earlier?" Taehyun asks tentatively once they are back in their apartment and he feels like he can breath again. He is curious about Seungyoon's past, about who are the persons he still cares about enough to go see them when he feels down.

"Just... some friends I used to do music with," Seungyoon shrugs, "I just needed some time away." He adds and it aches in Taehyun's chest. "I won't do it again, I promise. I'd rather be here than with them anyway." He stuffs a spoonful of rice in his mouth and it probably means the conversation is over. Seungyoon is always wary when Taehyun asks him about his past life but he can't help it, he wants to know. He isn't scared anymore. He wants to know and to see everything because he is convinced that nothing can change anything anymore. He will love and accept each and every parts of Seungyoon, even the shameful or disgusting ones. Taehyun can take it.

"Why is that? Are they-," Homeless? But the word gets stuck in his throat. Seungyoon raises his head to look at him with a smirk, like he is finding Taehyun's carefulness cute.

"No, they're not. Homeless, I mean. They're rather unsavory characters though... I hadn't seen them in a while before today, not since I quitted music." The sadness in his voice every time he evokes how he had to let go of music is making Taehyun more and more willing to encourage him to pursue his dream. He wants to see the happy Seungyoon, he wants Seungyoon to be as happy with him that he is himself.

"What did you do then? Catching up?" Taehyun never got to meet old friends. He doesn't have any. All the people he knows and has dinners with are the ones he meets at his office or the ones his mother introduces to him. He wants to know about Seungyoon's friends, he wants to know what it feels like to have a social life.

"Yeah, you could say that." He smiles but he doesn't seem like he had much fun. "Actually, Taehyun," Seungyoon's uneasiness makes Taehyun's head raise from his plate to look at him, "I met my ex-boyfriend there. Some friends too but he was here." Seungyoon looks like he is scared of Taehyun's reaction, like he is looking for forgiveness but all Taehyun can do is swallow the food still in his mouth and clench his fists on his lap.

"What did you do? Why did you go meet him?" His voice is shaking and he wishes he wouldn't appear as angry and disappointed as he really is but he can't control his emotions well around Seungyoon.

"I'm sorry Taehyun. It didn't mean anything. I-I was pissed off because of our situation and-" Taehyun shifts in his seat. He doesn't want to hear that. He can't listen to that. "We kissed." Seungyoon finally breathes out, voice small and ashamed.

It isn't like they are dating, they never agreed on anything but still, Taehyun is pretty sure that what they lived during the past few months means more than just friendship or a casual roommates relationship. And Seungyoon must have been aware of it too because he is lowering his head now and avoiding his eyes.

Taehyun is angry, so fucking angry, but he is also glad he came back and he can't afford to fight with him out of scare of loosing him again. It doesn't mean anything, that kiss he shared with someone else, as long as Seungyoon is back. Seungyoon chose him. Taehyun reaches out for his hand and squeezes it slightly. They are cold and shaky but it is the only thing he needs right now. This and to kiss Seungyoon's lips until the memory of his ex-boyfriend disappears.

-

They avoid the subject for a while - what they are going to do about Taehyun's mother, about his boss, about this unbearable situation. Until Taehyun decides that he should be responsible and brave enough to face them. "Let's make it official," he tells Seungyoon who looks at him like he is crazy. He is going to make Seungyoon his official boyfriend, he is going to introduce him properly as his lover and force his family and acquaintances to accept him. After all, he is way past the time when he needed his mother's approval over his relationships. Or is he?

They depart for his parents' house a few days later in the middle of the afternoon. It is already late summer and they choke on the hot air's humidity as soon as they step outside. Taehyun never liked this time of the year ; made of dark clouds covering the sky and big warm raindrops falling on his face. He hates it more as he seizes Seungyoon's hand and his fingers graze against the rapid pulse on his wrist. They are both incredibly anxious, aware that they are just about to change their future.

-

His mother almost closes the door on them when he knocks and notices Seungyoon on his side. Taehyun has to block it with his foot and force his way in. "I'm sorry-" Seungyoon starts, bowing and offering his hands for a handshake before his mother interrupts him.

"Why did you bring him here? What is it now, Taehyun?" She has the same scary voice that would usually make Taehyun lower his head in apology but for once, he doesn't. Instead, he holds her gaze and drags Seungyoon to the living room where he knows his father is most likely to be. It isn't like Taehyun to defy authority or to be disrespectful to his parents - he is usually careful of always doing good and follow the rules - but today, and maybe a bit later, he dares to rebel against his parents' domination because Seungyoon is worth it.

He takes a deep intake of breath and he can tell Seungyoon is uncomfortable beside him. His father is looking at him with questioning his eyes - his newspapers forgotten on the table - and his mother is on his feet, about to grab his arm and punish him for getting out of control and Taehyun is disappointed that it has to happen this way. He whishes they could tell him to be happy, that they are thankful to Seungyoon for taking care of him and congratulate him on finding someone he truly loves for the first time. But his parents are pretty conservative and maybe a bit worried about their son getting influenced by a worthless beggar. Taehyun is only sad they didn't take the time to listen to Seungyoon before disapproving their relationship. Taehyun acknowledges that he has been irresponsible at first, for bringing someone like him in his home, for naming him and using him as a good company without being informed about him beforehand but they have developed something much bigger than this, something he would want his parents to understand.

"Mom, dad, let me introduce you my boyfriend, Kang Seungyoon. We met a few months ago and he's now living in my house." He speaks fast and in one breath and tries not to look at the change of expression in his father's face. He doesn't want to hear him splutter that he is sick and disgusting and that he shouldn't be so shameless to come in his own house to say such things. All he wants is to make sure they understand that he won't let go of him and that he is going to make space in his life for Seungyoon, whether they agree on it or not.

They don't agree and Seungyoon has to drag him out of the house before things worsen or get out of hand.

 

They sit in the streets a few blocks away and the tremor in Taehyun's body only die down after his second cigarette. Seungyoon looks like he is about to cry but he doesn't say anything, doesn't comment about what just happened. Instead, he strokes his back like he always does until Taehyun regains enough strength to walk.

 

His parents stop calling from that day on. His boss, too, after Taehyun tells him that the rumors are groundless since he is living with his boyfriend who is a really good musician and if he is a repulsive tramp like people describe him as, Taehyun is one too. The mocking at his office doesn't stop completely though and people still call him "creepy" but it probably won't ever stop and Taehyun doesn't care enough anymore anyway.

-

Seungyoon goes to an audition around a month later. They saw the posters on the walls a few weeks ago while walking around and Taehyun convinced Seungyoon to try out. He had refused at first, saying that he isn't good enough yet, that he doesn't want to be disappointed again if it doesn't work out but Taehyun reassured him, telling him that no matter what the outcome will be, he will be there to support him. Seungyoon is still young and it will be a shame if his talent gets wasted.

-

Seungyoon is sweating and pacing back and forth in the room before the audition. Taehyun observes him, fascinated to see him so serious and concentrated for the first time. He is always cheerful and overreacts a bit too much usually but right now, he is stressed and his face is the one of someone with a strong ambition.

Taehyun can't go inside during the audition but he waits outside. When Seungyoon comes out with a smile, hugging his guitar and jumps on him excitedly, telling him it went fine, Taehyun is happier than he has been in years.

"They said my singing is good and I have a thing for self composition," Seungyoon exclaims as they eat in a restaurant nearby. Taehyun likes being outside with Seungyoon. It feels good with him. Almost better than his apartment.

Seungyoon cries when they receive the letter saying that he got accepted in the company. Taehyun's smile almost rips his face in two.

He calls his mother a few months later to tell her the good news, hoping that her anger decreased a bit. She sounds relieved, voice trembling and accepts to meet them again after telling him how much she missed him and how sorry she is.

-

They meet in coffee shop between Seungyoon's company and their apartment. His mother greets Seungyoon politely and presses him with questions about his music. He knows she thinks that musician isn't a decent job, nor a stable one but Taehyun guesses that it is still better than being jobless. Seungyoon answers every single questions with a gentle smile and even manages to make her laugh once or twice. Taehyun himself is amazed at how polite and lovable Seungyoon can be.

"You look happy." His mother compliments and it is the first time he hears something like this. "He used to always look sad when he was young because of his eyebrows," she jokes and Taehyun exchanges a glance with Seungyoon. It isn't a person's features which define how flourished he is, Taehyun knows for sure now. Faces betray feelings. One look at someone and you can tell his whole story ; how happy he was, how much he cried, if he encountered hardships or not. It is the same thing for everyone. Seungyoon and he are a bit different and they won't ever pass for persons they aren't even if they try, but they are happy, genuinely happy, so happy that it is almost overflowing. It all began with Seungyoon, with that little boy sleeping in a box with a pouty face he found one lucky day. And he can feel it on his face too, how easy it is to smile or to laugh now. So easy that it is intoxicating. 

She doesn't talk about his dad, meaning that he probably isn't over the idea of his son being gay. It is still better than a few months ago, Taehyun reasons. At least he made up with his mother and his dad, well, time will heal wounds. For the first time in a while, Taehyun feels hope that they can be openly together and maybe one day, they will be able to have dinners with both of his parents and he will tell them about how proud he is of Seungyoon or about all the great things they do together. But for now, he is satisfied as it is only the beginning of their story.

-

Taehyun doesn't realize that it has been already one year since they met. The memory of the day he found a really skinny and frightened kid in a box and named him Mung is still vivid in his mind, even though so many things happened since that day that it feels like an eternity ago since they were both awkward and shy around each other. Taehyun still remembers the palpitations of his heart and the curiosity he had towards Seungyoon.

Seungyoon reminds him one morning. "It will be one year in a few days." He has a shy smile and as Taehyun takes a good look at him, he realizes how much he changed. He isn't scared anymore ; he still has that same innocent side in him and his big toothy smile but now his body is more defined, his hair are styled and his clothes are made of ripped skinny jeans and loose t-shirt. But even like this, Taehyun can't help but love him more and look at him with eyes full of admiration and desire. They probably don't match as Seungyoon looks like a young rocker and Taehyun an uptight business man but they are perfect for each other.

To celebrate, Taehyun decides that they should go on a trip. Seungyoon never went abroad before and it will be nice to take some time away after everything they overcame, away from this city, just the two of them. "Japan!" Seungyoon shouts happily as they are browsing the possible destinations and just like that, one month later, they land in Tokyo with no idea what they are going to do but filled with a new sense of excitement. Seungyoon likes Japan because of fashion and music and Taehyun just agrees with him, eyes big and amazed as he is discovering something absolutely new and different. So different from the road he walks on from his office to his apartment. It is much bigger, more colorful, crowded with people speaking a language he doesn't understand and having a culture he is dying to learn.

There is something both romantic and desperate in the idea of visiting a new country together, as if they are both running away from the pressure they received back at home or as if they finally figured out that "home" doesn't require a static place ; Taehyun gave Seungyoon a shelter but they built their own home together. Seungyoon is Taehyun's home and it doesn't matter if they are kilometers away from their original place, as long as Taehyun has Seungyoon's warmth to reassure him and his smile to assure him that everything is fine.

Seungyoon drags him around the streets of Tokyo, makes him try new foods and even talk to strangers. Taehyun would have usually be scared but he is finding enjoyable, as if he is living a daydream or some kind of life changing experience. When he thought he didn't have anything else to learn from Seungyoon, that they were already knowing each other perfectly, he realizes that Seungyoon is such a whole and dense entity that an eternity won't be enough time with him.

-

It is the middle of the night, and dawn is nearing, they aren't tired though and Taehyun rarely is anyway, but even more with the excitation and anticipation due to their trip, due to the fact they are on their owns kilometers away from Seoul. They spent an exhilarating first day and Taehyun finds it hard to clear his mind to put himself to sleep after that. He can't believe how beautiful everything is, how for once everything seems to fit perfectly in place, how having Seungyoon walking next to him feels like they did it for years already, how locking fingers has become such a familiar gesture. Everything between them is always both so familiar and so new that it makes Taehyun all jumpy, full of bubbles of laughter and eyes shinny with happiness.

They are supposed to sleep by now - they still have many things to live tomorrow - but they talk the whole night, saying things to each other that don't have any senses but it doesn't matter because they just want to feel the other presence and then when their voices die down, Seungyoon takes off his shirt and starts trailing kisses from Taehyun's cheek to his mouth, then down his neck to his shoulder and then they are naked and the room is brimming with "i love you"s and "i can't live without you"s and the intensity and proximity of it takes Taehyun's breath and last bits of carefulness away.

-

"How about meeting my parents when we go back?" Seungyoon offers the next day, limbs still numb, head still nuzzled in his neck and the first sunlights of the day lightly caressing their bare skins.


End file.
